As we near the end of 2009 and look forward to 2010 I thought it was appropriate to look at how we might form new habits to replace old ones. My inspiration this morning comes from reading a book called the seven habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey. This book has become a staple reference for me over the years as it contains such wisdom. If this book isn’t in your library yet treat yourself and buy it and read over the Christmas period.
For our purposes, we will define the habit is the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire.
Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three.
For example I may be effective in my interactions with my work Associates, my spouse, or my children to such constantly tell them what I think, I may not even know I need to listen.
Even if I didn’t know that in order to interact effectively others I really need to listen to them, I may not have the skill. I may not know how to really listen deeply to another human being.
But knowing I need to listen and then have to listen is not enough. Unless I want to listen, unless I have the desire, it won’t be the habit in my life. Creating a habit requires work in all three dimensions.
I’m not talking about the brown things that monks wear when I talk of habits. I’m talking behaviour and thought patterns.
On one hand habits are like suitcases and bags that get in the way. On the other hand habits of behaviour that help us achieve what we desire.
Much has been written by many skilled authors over the years about habits. How to break them, how to improve them and I’m not about to try to compete with those writers. Just recognising that you have a habit is the first step and 90% of the solution.
In very simple terms habits are things that we picked up and employ every day without even thinking about it. As before they can be both positive and negative. The same dynamic is at work in our work. If you walk into any business and start looking around you’ll see good and bad habits. The good habits might be good customer service. For example following up with customers who have reported a problem with your product or service. A bad habit might be as simple as having a cluttered desk and being unable to find something when you need it. I just looked at my desk and realize that’s one of my bad habits.
So how do you decide whether a habit is good or bad? It’s really very simple. The question I would ask is “does my habit take me nearer my ultimate goal?” If the answer is yes all well and good I’ll decide to keep that habit. If upon examination my habit does not take me nearer my ultimate goal and then I have to conclude, based upon the creative process, that it’s a bad habit.
The more difficult ones to assess are those habits that are so small that I do not even recognize them as habits. So how do I assess them? It may be you need the advice and help of someone close to you who can dispassionately assess your activities and help you to see what is good and what is less good. You may find it helpful to diary your time and keep a record in 15 minute increments of when and how you spend your time.
In order to assess your habits in this way you need to have a very clear picture in your own mind of what you’re trying to create. If you tend to drift through the day without a clear idea of what your end goal is then I would suggest that you read Your life as Art by Robert Fritz. In this book he explains a very simple process, but once you understand what he is recommending, you’ll never look at your life goals in the same way again. Julia Frances put it so eloquently – “common sense in a poetic form”. It may not be the easiest book to read but it is one of the most profound in my experience. He also has a weekly newsletter which can be subscribed to at www.RobertFritz.com.
