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I am not a Greek scholar but in many cases they have more words that occasionally are useful. For example their keywords for time chronos and kairos. The first refers to chronological time, such as when he checked the clock to see how long you have to wait for lunch or when you announced that dinner will be at eight o’clock.
Kiaros, on the other hand, reveals an event that happened at a particular point in time. If the 8 o’clock dinner turns out to be the most fun you had in a long time and you feel some relief from the pressures of your life, then it becomes kairos moments as well. Kairos refers to significant event — good or bad — that alters your life. Something happened or something was said that made an impact. It may have even made chronos seem to stand still.
Do you remember the day you were married? How about the birth of your first child? Think about a favorite vacation you took with your family. While these are all kairos moments you cherish. Some kairos events, however leave an impact because of the tragic consequences the death of a loved one, a divorce, an argument with a co-worker, the horrific events of September 11, 2001.
We humans are an analytical lot. What a kairos moment occurs, especially one that stirs up negative emotions, we want to study old events that led to this crisis with the hope of preventing a similar thing from happening again. We think that what we need to learn from our mistakes is how not to ever make that mistake again!
We are looking through the wrong end of the telescope. Instead of looking back at the event to prevent circumstances from converging in the same way again, we need to look forward to the growth that we can experience from it. Rather than focusing on what we want to leave behind from experience, we should be practiced about what we want for what from the experience as we move into the next asked of relationship or season of our lives.
There has been much talked about Mentors and their roles. However, how many people in business have one and really understand how to get the best out of them. Having a mentor is all about having a 2 way relationship, a conversation, that enables and facilitates accountability. A mentor is:
not all mentors need to look like this
- approachable – can you walk with them or they walk with you
- experienced
- easy to talk with and listen to
- often the one person who will ask the difficult questions
- encourages self development
- models good behaviour
- hold you accountable for actions, choices and decisions
- probably slightly disconnected from what you are creating
A mentor is not:
- not infallible
- is not a scapegoat for things that don’t go as we want
- available endlessly – there has to be some movement
Mentoring is about one person helping another to achieve something of real importance to them. It is about giving help and support in a non-threatening way, in a manner that the recipient will appreciate and value and that will empower them to move forward with confidence towards what they want to achieve. Mentoring is also concerned with creating an informal environment in which one person can feel encouraged to discuss their needs and circumstances openly and in confidence with another person who is in a position to be of positive help to them.
Mentors are probably confined to helping in a relatively narrow area and you may actually have several mentors at any one time each of whom assists in a different area.
One concept of a mentor is a person who holds up a mirror and annoyingly asks those questions that you might not have asked yourself.
A mentor might be someone who is around for just a few short months or may be much longer term – it all depends on the area you are working in.
So the call to action for today is this. Who is your mentor? Do they know it? How often do you talk with them about the important things you are trying to create?
I’m an avid follower of Seth Godin (founder of squidoo) and his simple wisdom often astounds me. His latest post on his blog is all about the simple truths that form the foundations of full employment:
- Sales – if you can make sales you’ll be always employed
- Additive effort – if you can add value to what others do then you too are likely to be valued
- Initiation – if you start new things then the wise business owner will grab you with both hands and more but sadly most people who are initiators are misunderstood by the masses.
So which one of these are you?
Full article
Just the other day I was thinking marketing and my thoughts turned to relationships. In business the overriding emphasis is placed on finding new customers, selling more products, and making more money.
I have a problem with this classical view of business and seem to be swimming like a fish against the tide. My emphasis in business has changed over the last few years and today my focus, and going on record here is dangerous, is on making better relationships rather than just making more relationships. The reason it is dangerous for me to go on record as saying “my focus is on making better relationships” is I lay myself open to criticism.
My preference would be to maintain and improve 10 existing relationships by adding value than trying to add 10 new relationships. It is easier to maintain a relationship than it is to add a new one.
One of the most influential books I’ve read in recent years is The Five Love Languages – It is a Christian book but contains such practical wisdom that it should be standard reading for everyone in a long term relationship. I actually learnt how my wife prefers to be communicated with. My preferences are quite different and just understanding that difference has made the world of difference in our relationship.
Please share what you think and feel.
Whilst on holiday – a rare fine day in a wet summer – I came across something that I’ve know for years but had forgotten. How nice it is to receive a handwritten letter or postcard? When was the last time you made the effort to hand-write a letter? I used to write almost every day to my wife and children and some years I was away for 200 + days/year. Those letters are treasured and often re read and often bring about a smile or tears but the still produce a response.
Text messages and e mails and twitter don’t have the same effect. E mails bring me to tears sadly but all for the wrong reasons.
One company leading the swing back to letter writing is Papernation and the blog that goes with the site is always worth a peek.
As always these posts come with a challenge – who are we going to write to today or this week? Tell us what happened as a result. Go on encourage someone today!
In our weekly team call we talked about what is important to each of us and the resultant discussion was profound in many ways. So what follows is a discussion around what keeps you “ON MESSAGE” AND “WHAT GETS YOU OUT OF BED ON A COLD WINTER MORNING”?
Here are a few questions to prompt the discussions:
- What is it that you are in the process of creating and why?
- Who are you looking to add value to and why?
- What keeps you going when things get hard?
- What are the successes that you’ve had? Share them if appropriate.
- What does your journey look like and where do you see it taking you in the future?
To post a comment simply go to the post and scroll down and insert your thoughts and observations – and keep checking back to see what’s developing. The self portrait is in one of my more creative moments!!!
Imagine the scene ‘on holiday’ and popped into Starbucks in Hereford for a quick coffee and a chance to check e mail. Met a guy in there called Stuart Addis who turned out to be an enterprising businessman with a great offer. How about fixed price Accountancy services – we were so impressed that we’ve extended his offer to all our colleagues – click the following link to download his fixed price accounting offer. It all starts at £99 for a self employed sole trader. By the way not only is the coffee great but you can also get a free coffee when you buy a bag of coffee beans – ask when you order – you know me – can’t resist a bargain.
About 5 years ago i was reading a book by a well known author and came across a word that I didn’t know the meaning of. It was such an important word and so central to the writing that I had to stop and go and find out what the word really meant. The word was Maven and Malcolm Gladwell, in his book the tipping point uses it as a descriptor of someone who has an unusually detailed understanding of a particular subject. Mavens are relatively uncommon but well worth seeking out as they are the ones that are either early adopters or trend formers. They are not people who collect other people’s information and present it as their own but real visionaries.
If you are in business, running an organisation or in a position of influence my strong advice is to seek out Mavens.
Now about the book – it is all about people and events that start changes a bit like viruses. It is one of my top 10 books and well worth the £3 price. The Tipping Point is also available as an audiobook – great if you spend time driving – from £6.
On this mornings weekly team call we talked about the concept of ‘Random Acts of Kindness’ and I used the examples of the Freedom Writers from Long Beach and the film Pay It forward.
In the Freedom Writer’s film Erin Gruwell, a newly qualified teacher, takes on a class of ‘no-hoper’s and in the course of 2 years begins a movement, the freedom writers Foundation, that is definitely changing the world they live in and the world much further away – This film is in my top 10 and is a must watch.
In the other film, Kevin Spacey, challenges his class to come up with an idea that will change the world. One student suggests that if they get the Chinese population to jump up and down at the same time that it would knock the world off its axis. While the star of the film, Haley Joel Osment, comes up with a concept where he would do something that would help 3 people (it was something they couldn’t do for themselves) and then hope that they in turn would pay it forward.
My challenge for the next few weeks is to exercise the idea of Random Acts of Kindness – do something for someone that is of no benefit to you but makes someone smile, helps them values them, inspires them.
It needn’t be large, often the small things are best, but see what you can come up with and post your experiences on the site.
Go on – make someone smile today!
You may have created the best website in the world and have the product everyone wants or needs but unless you get found by the search engines then it will take months if not years to build the traffic to your site. We talked in the past about Squidoo (if you are not yet registered click the preceding link) , Gumtree, US Free Ads, backlinks, signatures, business cards but just this last weekend I came across a post on a website that I follow that was very interesting and can be massively helpful in generating traffic.
Before I share with you the site I just want you to think about something really important. If you come across something really good you have 3 options 1. keep it to yourself , 2. share it with others close to you or option 3. copy it and pretend you are the author.
Options 1. is plain selfish and can’t be justified. Option 2 is OK but you don’t really get the best return and option 3 – well it is not the right thing to do.
The post I found this weekend is on a site called Maxblogpress.com and has been a site that I’ve watched and used for several years. It is foccsed on wordpress blogs and has produced some great little ideas but the article today is all about being found by the search engines and is so topical today that I can’t tell you how excited i am about it all. It shows you how to get several key websites to list your sites and thatway get more traffic and more potential sales. The post to go and have a look at is called how to be listed by killer startups.
If you want go and have a look at killerstartups.com
makes very interesting reading and is well worth the time to explore. Please also sign up for the Maxblogpress.com newsletter which has been of consistently high quality.
